Today on the podcast, we talk about the power of no – and how to use it! We learn a quick teacher hack to save time when loggin grades, and we continue our journey of self-inventory for Petal 5 in the “What Color Is Your Parachute” mini-series by putting deep thought into our required salary.
What Color is Your Parachute 2024 and the Workbook
The book, “F*** No” by Sarah Knight
And remember to send your comments, stories, and random thoughts to me at TeachersinTransitionCoaching@gmail.com! I can’t wait to read them.
The transcript of this podcast can be found on the Episode’s page at Buzzsprout.
Today on the podcast, we talk about the power of no – and how to use it! We learn a quick teacher hack to save time when loggin grades, and we continue our journey of self-inventory for Petal 5 in the “What Color Is Your Parachute” mini-series by putting deep thought into our required salary.
What Color is Your Parachute 2024 and the Workbook
The book, “F*** No” by Sarah Knight
And remember to send your comments, stories, and random thoughts to me at TeachersinTransitionCoaching@gmail.com! I can’t wait to read them.
The transcript of this podcast can be found on the Episode’s page at Buzzsprout.
Are you a teacher who is feeling stressed out and overwhelmed? do you worry that you're feeling symptoms of burnout - or are you sure you've already gotten there? Have you started to dream of doing something different or a new job or perhaps pursuing an entirely different career - but you don't know what else you're qualified to do? You don't know how to start a job search and you just feel stuck. if that sounds like you, I promise you are not alone. my name is Vanessa Jackson; and I am a career transition and job search coach and I specialize in helping burnt out teachers just like you deal with the overwhelmingly stressful nature of your day-to-day job and to consider what other careers might be out there waiting for you. You might ask yourself, What tools do I need to find a new career? Are my skills valuable outside the classroom? How and where do I even get started? These are all questions you deserve answers to, and I can help you find them. I’m Vanessa Jackson. Come and join me for Teachers in Transition.
***Hi! And Welcome back to another episode of Teachers in Transition. I am your host, Vanessa Jackson - a compassionate Career transition and job search coach who specializes in working with burnt out teachers who are ready for a career change but are not sure where to begin. Today we are going to talk about using the word NO to preserve your sanity, a simple, elegant hack to save time when grading, and we are exploring the fifth petal in our mini-series out of the book, What Color is Your Parachute by Richard Bolles with Katharine Brookes. This one is about salary.
As teachers, parents, co-workers, children – well – as HUMANS, we are often asked to do things. I am always a little in awe of people who know how to say no. I am not particularly good at it, but I am improving. I hate to let people down, and so I become a natural person to ask when they want something done. Because when you say yes to everything, you wind up grumpy, exhausted, and overwhelmed. Odds are your own needs are not being met, and you are paying with your time and your mental health.
Your time is a finite resource – so is your energy, and your sanity. And as much as I never liked to look like I had limits, the reality is that we all have limits.
Here's the thing about not being able to say “NO” upfront. You are still saying no. When you say yes to one thing, it becomes an automatic no to something else. Don’t believe me? You say “yes” to an afterschool club that you weren’t really interested in? You have said “no” to whatever else you planned to do at that time – like grading, planning, or even just leaving on time.
Our lives are full of these tradeoffs – if I say yes to a clean house all the time, I say no to downtime. If I say yes to spending time in one activity, by definition, I cannot spend that time on other activities. So, you are saying no to lots of things without having said no.
Once you internalize that, it can be important to think about what is really important to you – so you know what you really want to say yes to!
If you are a younger teacher, or just earlier in your career, I have noticed that many people higher than you on the food chain will ask you to… (fill in that blank). For those not in the know, teachers start off on a contract that goes by different names in different states, but it is essentially probationary – that can say “Hey, we don’t think this is working, annnnd we don’t want you back next year. Thank’s for playing!” They do not need a reason to let you go. This is 3-5 years in most states. Many of them tack on fancy statements like “3 years plus one full day into the next school year.” After this, teachers move to either a continuing contract or tenure. It’s the same thing. All it means is that they now need a documented reason to let you go. What the public THINKS tenure is – is not what it is. The general public thinks that tenure means that a teacher cannot be fired for any reason. Or that a teacher can do anything they want without repercussions. Yeah. that’s simply not true. A continuing contract or tenure just guarantees that you won’t be let go just because the principal doesn’t like your style of dress or some other ridiculous reason.
There are so many books on the topic of saying NO – I don’t plan to write another one here. One of my favorite books on the topic of saying no is by Sarah Knight, and the title is a not-safe-for-work title, but I’ll put a link to the book under Sarah’s name in the show notes. If you like listening to audio versions of books in the car, Sarah reads her own books and does a great job of it.
NO is a powerful word. Ask any toddler (laughs). They learn the power of no when they see that it gives them a choice in what they do and how they are treated. Many toddlers get so excited by the power of no, that they use few other words for awhile – they’ll even refuse something they really wanted.
And let’s just say this bluntly – the world of education relies heavily on teachers volunteering a lot of time doing unpaid things. Or paid almost nothing. (Side note: If you get a stipend for something, never ever track your hours and then see what that stipend works out to per hour. I did that once. I was making 30 cents per hour outside of my contract time on it.
And do not let people gaslight you with the “Umm, you’re salaried. That means you don’t really have hours and we EXPECT you to work as much as it takes to get the job done.”
#1 – There is no way to finish the job of teaching anymore. It is like trying to wait for the last wave to arrive on the beach. It never ends! You could work 180 hours a week and not finish. And for those of you doing the math at home, yes there are only 168 hours in a week. And you ought to be spending 56 of those sleeping - MINIMUM!
#2 – The salary was a way to set up paying teachers so that they wouldn’t have to pay the exorbitant amount of overtime that would pop up. I argue that if teachers were hourly, a whole lot of things would get a whole lot more efficient immediately.
So it’s up to us to protect ourselves with the Power of No
First of all, and dear listener, I hope you aren’t hearing this for the first time “NO is a complete sentence.” You aren’t required to include reasons when you can’t do something or don’t want to do something. But, as teachers, we are hard-wired to help others at the expense of ourselves, so that ‘no’ by itself just doesn’t sit right. Try to remember that when you give excuses, you are inviting people to talk you out of your reasons.
I want to include a few ways to buffer or cushion your NO, so that you feel better about using it. “I’d rather cover myself in honey and dance with angry bees” is not going to help extract yourself from a difficult situation. Details are not always required.
You can use “unfortunately,”
…unfortunately, I am just not free at that time.
…unfortunately, I don’t have the skills you need for this.
Make sure you use the word NO. In fact, a great idea is to LEAD with it.
It’s amazing how people feel that you are a YES waiting to happen because they never heard NO. Or they assume YES when you meant NO because the word was never actually uttered.
“No, I can’t. Unfortunately, I am unavailable.”
And I would avoid saying “sorry” anywhere in there. You can say no to something without apologizing for it. No is a valid answer. I read that many people (especially women) have a tendency to over apologize. Instead, thank them.
“No, unfortunately, I am unable to. Thank you for thinking of me.”
Simple. A NO, a Buffer, and some gratitude.
If it is something you are legitimately interested in, you can always add “please feel free to ask me next time.” But if you’d rather dance with the angry bees, resist the urge to add that in there. They WILL ask you again, and most people feel increasingly bad about saying no. (Bonus tip: This is why so many phone sales people are taught to accept three NOs before they give up. Someone did the research and then the math and figured that the cavers were going to cave by the third ask or they never would.)
In the book by Sarah Knight, she recommends the use of the word “alas” and it has become my favorite. “No. Alas, I have other things to do”
“Alas, I am already booked.” “Alas, that is the night that I practice whistling in the forest at night” if you know, you know. Also – maybe don’t do that.
So remember:
No is a complete sentence.
You are allowed to say no.
When you say no to the things you don’t want, it allows you to say yes to things you want – like family time, reading time, or job hunting for yourself.
In our next segment, Our Teacher Hack for this week comes from a friend in the field, and it is designed to save time when putting in grades. Some of you may have known this, and others may not. It’s simple and elegant. Every child has a number next to their name that they put next to their name on all their papers. When you go to sort the papers, or ask someone else to sort them, it is very easy to put the numbers in order without having to mentally alphabetize.
I saw this used a lot with my kids’ elementary school campuses. I don’t think I saw it on the middle school lever, although it could still work (assuming they put their name on there at all which is another topic altogether…)
I imagine at the middle or high school level, that code should be prefaced with a class period like Vanessa Jackson 1-12. I know grading is mostly done on a computer now, but I hated having to scroll up and down when I was putting things in. Scrolling is an inconvenience, and it uses up precious seconds. So, since the kids do not turn things in already in alphabetical order, this can help you save those same precious seconds that turn into minutes that turn into time you can use to help you look for your life outside of teaching.
Teachers have to maximize their time every change that get. It saves a few seconds here and there that adds up to a significant amount of time over time.
Do you use this hack? Have you improved upon it or customized it to suit you? Do you have any little teacher hacks you’d love to share with the world and hear on the show? I’d love to hear about it – please email me and let me know at Teachers in Transition Coaching at Gmail dot com
And now on to Petal 5 in our mini-series from the What Color is Your Parachute book. In the book, we are exploring a self-inventory, and the work is done in 7 petals that make a flower. Petal 5 is about salary.
What is your preferred level of responsibility and salary. I mean sure, I’d love to figure out how to be paid the big bucks to swing in my back porch swing every day – but odds are that low-responsibility/high-paying opportunity won’t look for me anytime soon.
We are looking for a realistic picture of what you need or want to earn. We’re doing this because employers will want to know an expected salary range. You know, like at a car dealership where one of the first questions is always “What do you want your payment to be?” My answer has always been a standard “well, I’m hoping to keep it under $20, so let’s wait until see all the numbers before we reach a decision there.” It’s similar here. They may have $75,000 budgeted for a position. If you say you are looking for $55,000, then they have $20,000 for something else. They’ll rarely volunteer more money.
We talked earlier in the pod about saying no to some things so we can say yes to others. Here we are looking at balancing money and happiness. As Teachers, we are living proof that people can be happy in lower paying jobs. Once upon a time, I was a HAPPY teacher. I didn’t mind making a little less because I loved what I did and I knew that what I did mattered. That has changed. We make significantly less than similarly educated peers and the nature of education is to ask us to cram 20 pounds of crazy in a 5-pound bag. So many of us have decided that if we are going to be that miserable in a classroom, we’d rather leave for higher paying work. Presumably, that’s why you are listening to the podcast today. Then again, we can’t turn around and say that we want to make (in the style of Austin Powers) “one billion dollars.” For starters, it isn’t practical or likely, but more importantly, money only buys happiness up to a point. Past that point, expectations may ramp past what you are willing to accommodate, or you have to sacrifice more home time that you are willing to sacrifice. So we’re looking for that Goldilocks spot in this exercise.
One of the things to consider first is What level of responsibility are you looking for?
Most of us in education are used to crushing levels of responsibility. We are no longer just responsible for developing young minds, but we’re also now tasked to save their lives in the event of the Worst Imaginable Emergency. When I left teaching in the beginning, I just wanted a nice, quiet job where I could play with my spreadsheets and not be required to be “on” every minute of my workday. That was part of me that was recovering from some of the trauma I’d experienced in teaching. I was not prepared to accept responsibility as a manager or for a team. Now I am.
Next, it will be handy for you to know what your expenses ARE in this episode. So take a moment and sketch out on a piece or paper (or perhaps another tab in an Excel sheet if you want that to do the math for you!), The book has a worksheet that I’ll link in the show notes to the publisher’s site. Sketch our your regular monthly bills, loans, housing, and credit. Estimate food and clothing costs, estimate yearly vet bills, gas/maintenance costs for the car, child care, medical deductibles, and activity fees. Try to figure out your subscriptions. There are apps that can help with that, but it’s stunning how much we all spend monthly in subscription fees.
From this you can get an idea what you spend in a month. If you are on your own, then that’s your minimum that you want to make. If you are married or sharing costs with someone else like a roommate, then you can figure out what percentage of the costs you are responsible for. That’s YOUR minimum.
And think about the maximum salary here. Again, you could hold your pinky to your mouth and say “one beeeellion dollars” but it’s important to be realistic too. Put down what you think you could make with your current levels of skill and experience. The book says if that still seems depressingly low, put what you’d like to be making in five years.
Consider what benefits are out there. What would you like to aim for? What can be a bargaining chip? Examples include:
· Insurance: medical, dental, and vision, short/long term disability, serious illness insurance
· Retirement compensation or pension – do they match 401K?
· Bonuses
· Paid time off, sick leave, or vacation days
· Child care stipends or options
· Stock options?
· Tuition reimbursement
· Work from home perks?
· Cell phone and/or internet reimbursement?
Which of these are imperative to you? Which ones are meh? Which ones would you like to trade for more money or a different option?
And because money is not everything, what other things are rewarding in their own way that might be appealing to you? The book lists these options:
· Adventures
· A chance to be creative
· A chance to exercise leadership
· A chance to help others
· A chance to make decisions
· A chance to use your expertise
· A diverse work environment
· Challenge
· Fame
· Influence
· Intellectual stimulation
· Popularity
· Power
· Respect
· Something else?
My top three would be a chance to exercise leadership, helping others and intellectual stimulation. There is no wrong answer.
This helps you to get a better picture of which things are REALLY important to you so as you go on the hunt, you can make better decisions.
Remember, so many of us have been in or are in situations where every cell in our body just screams at us to GET OUT. We’ll fling our resumes in every direction and grab on to the first thing that sticks. That may not be the best plan. You’ll be a much better, a much STRONGER applicant for a job when you have fully considered all these things. We have two petals left to go after this one!
Meanwhile, if you are thinking about leaving teaching, or if you know you are ready to go, this is the time to be getting really serious. If you have questions about the process and don’t know where to go and what to, please give me a call or send an email and we can set up a complimentary discovery call and talk about your unique situation. I would love to help you find the job of your dreams.
That’s the podcast for today! If you liked this podcast, tell a friend, and don’t forget to rate and review wherever you listen to your podcasts. Tune in weekly to Teachers in Transition where we discuss Job Search strategies as well as stress management techniques. And I want to hear from you! Please reach out and leave me a message at Teacher in transition coaching at gmail dot com. You can also leave a voicemail or text at 512-640-9099.
I’ll see you here again next week and remember – YOU are amazing!
Show Notes – The Power of No
Today on the podcast, we talk about the power of no – and how to use it! We learn a quick teacher hack to save time when loggin grades, and we continue our journey of self-inventory for Petal 5 in the “What Color Is Your Parachute” mini-series by putting deep thought into our required salary.
What Color is Your Parachute 2024 and the Workbook
The book, “F*** No” by Sarah Knight
And remember to send your comments, stories, and random thoughts to me at TeachersinTransitionCoaching@gmail.com! I can’t wait to read them.
The transcript of this podcast can be found on the Episode’s page at Buzzsprout.